Back from The Money void

Music at the moment: The whoosh of the fan and other assorted outside morning noises.

Well, it's been over a week since we returned from Orlando on our trip to the capitalist Mecca known as Disney World. I have pictures, but why put them up? I hate the way I look in them and it's not like everyone hasn't seen some aspect of SellHell in pictures anyhow. So, without further ado here is my breakdown of the parks we visited:

Magic Kingdom - Sing with me! It's a hot, expensive, fairly boring, kid oriented world after all. Supposedly the happiest place on earth, I was surprised to find the number of Satan’s crabby minions that they actually allow to come into the park. Then again, money and root of all evil, I guess this is just one big refueling station for them. So, we split up for a bit to do some stuff right? John, Jersey Dad and I all go to something while Charlie, Tara and Jersey Mom take the baby to little kid things. We get done with the Haunted Mansion and such and decide, Hey we'll go in It's A Small World After All while we wait for them. It turns out they're in the impossibly long line to the Peter Pan ride directly across the street from us. We see them across the way and Alexis (My niece) sees us and waves. So I smile and wave back at her. Apparently in the 2.4 seconds I waved, the line ahead of me moved approximately 5 feet. Alarmed by the prospect that such a huge 5 foot gap will undoubtedly cause her to miss such a monumentally historic ride, the 65+ year old douche bag 3 people behind me yells "LET'S GET A MOVE ONNIT!"

um... OK.

Grandma has fucking issues. We are in line for IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL for Pete's sake! (Not you Pete, that other Pete.) The ride that teaches you "Hey! We're all the same wonderful people no matter where we're from! Let's all love each other and sing songs!" and this decrepit sack of osteo-ridden bones is snapping at us because the happy happy line isn't advancing the 5 feet she needs to get that much closer to the pinnacle of smiles and harmony. I didn't move. I continued to wave and looked back at the old bitty sorely in need of an ironing and smiled replying very loudly "The ride isn't going anywhere honey! I thought we were in Disney World where everyone is happy!" She immediately ducked back behind others in the line in what, I guess, was an attempt to hide.

Epcot - Epcot was groovy. The Spaceship Earth ball had just barely begun construction the first and only time I'd come to Disney when I was like 6. Though, in recent times they've apparently decided it wasn't flashy enough and added some ugly-ass Mickey Hand holding a wand onto the side of it. Feh. I think my and John's favorite part of Epcot was walking through all the countries. We made reservations for Chefs de France, in France of course, and had dinner there that evening. It was superb! John and I started off with escargot and both settled on the Cabillaud en croute de pommes de terre which is a baked cod stuffed with salmon and scallop mousse then wrapped in potato slices with a lobster demi glace! All this is served on a bed of leeks. Heaven I tell you. Our waitress, Melissa, was from Nice and surprisingly I understood everything she said. I guess a lot more French stuck with me than I thought. I was even able to order for us and respond appropriately. For dessert I had a scrumptious cannoli from Italy. Mmmm. The end of the night lightshow and fireworks were gorgeous and we had a great place right in front of Norway to watch them. Hot Vikings and Pyrotechnics, not bad.

MGM - This was fun for the most part. The shows were neat and the backlot tour was pretty groovy. Being able to take up close shots of the ship from Flight of The Navigator, the desert skiff from Return of the Jedi (A real star wars movie...more on that later) and a snow speeder from The Empire Strikes Back was trés cool. The Aerosmith Roller Coaster and The Tower of Terror were fun too. This was, however, the most expensive place along the way. I mean damn.

Sea World - We absolutely loved this place. I sort of wish we'd been alone so we could just take all day and meander from site to site. John and I love marine life and the associated things. The Manatees were sooooo damn cute and reminded us both of our cat. Kittums was definitely a Manatee in a former life. The dolphins were pretty and the seals were hams. The Otter and Sea lion show has us in stitches and the pre-show mime actually made me nearly pee myself. This was a great park.

Next time we go, we'll be hitting Universal and Discovery Cove to swim with the Dolphins. I intend to pocket one and bring it home so Kitty and Julio will have a playmate.