To keep the cobwebs at bay whilst I recover from the holiday, I conform to friends and their ways:
WARNING
this is a bit racey! Sheesh..the company I keep...
1. Name one thing you got for Christmas that you wanted to throw back at the person that gave it to you.
A free pamphlet of Schlotzsky's "Coupons" (Mind you, not REAL coupons..just a gimme booklet of 10 cents off here and there you can pick up off a counter) This was a couple Crimmuses ago, but noteworthy nonetheless.
2. Make up an acronym for BNA.
Bitches Not Allowed!
3. What is your current middle name and if you could change it what would it be?
Phred and I like it. It's me.
4. Which do you prefer? Thickness or length?
Oh dear. This is a left-fielder. In steaks? Thickness. In plot depth for a good movie? Thickness. In reinforced kevlar armor? Thickness. In the way you gutter-butts are thinking? Nunya...though there is a pattern in the answers.
5. Did you get what you wanted for Christmas?
Did I like everything I got? Yes! Did I get what I want the most? Not yet. He comes home Wednesday.
6. On New Year's Eve at midnight will you be kissing a certain someone, any stranger that is willing, or making love to the desert cart in your pajamas?
Actually, I stood there with a flute of White Star and sneered at the TV because they were early according to every watch, clock and time display for miles thus dropping the ball before we were watching.
7. Would you humiliate yourself for others enjoyment in the name of fun?
Of course! I've done it many times before: Hosted for AoL, joined a ridiculous guild in an online game, befriended Melonie, etc.
8. When people trip and fall do you point and laugh or feel bad for them and help?
I usually I'll suck in air through clenched teeth while wincing and mutter "oooo that'll bruise tomorrow". Unless, of course, I'm the one doing the tripping. Then it's a sly smile followed by "Schucks. That'll bruise tomorrow...bitch."
9. Low Rise Jeans on men... Hideously Ugly or Fashionably Chic?
Refer to fiasco that was men in daisy dukes. Um...ew.
10. What did you want for Christmas that you didn't get (other than World Peace)?
Christian Bale, Gina Gershon, Ray Park, Rick Yune, Eric Mabius, Eduardo Verastegui and Cillian Murphy pulling a sleigh with Billy Campbell
11. Do you want children someday? If so, why. If not, why not?
I have enough without needing those things nipping at my heels.
12. Which type of man do you usually end up dating? Smartass or Dumbass?
In the past? All dumbasses really. This one, the keeper, he's neither. Though I am working on igniting a little smartass in him.
13. Why are men so @#!*%$ stupid?
Because they have to deal with women. Sorry, I'm an equal-opportunity gender basher
14. What brings you to your knees?
There are a lot of things. John, dropped change and Jeff Gillooly. WHHHYYYYYYYYYY..WHHHHYYYYYYYY??!!
15. Name a line from a song that at this moment 'speaks to you'.
"I'm unique in the respect that I'm not U"
16. Quote the first movie line that comes to mind and let me see if I can guess the movie.
"Try the cock, Albert. It's a delicacy"
17. What is it with Hispanic gay guys and the plucked eye brows? Someone has to know this secret.
Well, they're gay right....and you've seen the hispanic hoochie-mama's with the gelled-out spiralled hair and dark-lined lips right? The eyebrows are identical between the two...so there you go.
18. Make up a word and then define it.
Cunnihilate: The verb form of cunnilingus. Well?! There wasn't one!
19. When it comes to sex, what are you best at (in your opinion... the rest of your town will be polled later for verification purposes)?
Oh definitely the brainwashing part. I'm an excellent speaker and I can sway many a crowd with passionate speeches about the universe and why we're all here. I can instill spiritual meaning in a gatheri--
OHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Sex, not Sects! Well then, you'll have to ask John that question.
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