Otis is feeling much better now at home with his Mommies. Hallelujah! Thank goodness it was apparently just a bad trip to a den of evil negligence that didn't go more awry. Yay Mr. Otis! Run and play and eat carrots!

Our friend's handsome doggy isn't feeling well.
Please send out your love and thoughts and make mister Otis get better.


















Mr. Otis

Stupid People Give Me Migraines

Music at the moment: Rock 'n' Roll Soldiers - Funny Little Feeling

Well, my weekend was shit. Yay. We didn't go see Charlie and The Chocolate Factory (Henceforth referred to as "That molestation movie") because Bryan's nephew Austin didn't make it down here for birthday fun.

Austin, a great guy and fellow video game afficianado, was going to be coming down with Bryan Saturday afternoon for "That molestation movie" and then Sushi at Fuji's for his 16th. His "mother" (I use the term loosely since Hitler would have made a better mother) had planned to do whatever she was going to do for his birthday either Friday night or Saturday morning/noonish.

So Bryan heads down to pick up Austin and calls later to say that he's headed back alone in tears. I'm like what the???

Apparently Ingrid (henceforth referred to by many other more colorful names) thought differently of the situation. The douche bag, who for so long has been sweet and supportive of John and I and had some incredibly kind and meaningful words for me at their father's viewing suddenly decides to tell Bryan she doesn't want Austin hanging out with "The gays". She kept on repeatedly refusing to allow him to come down and be around "all Bryan's homosexual friends". Bryan tallied for her the hordes of gay friends he has down here that he sees: Me and John. He detailed how Myshe, Josh, heather, Jennifer and George are all breeders, but that did little to fix anything in Frieda Fuckup's little mind. On and on about not condoning that life and not wanting Austin around it (Even though he's hung around us plenty of times before with her consent and even came down here for Bryan and my mother's birthday bash), how she doesn't want him to come down here and drink (when her live-in boyfriend drinks more than our household combined on a daily basis) and how she doesn't want him coming down to see "That molestation movie" (Apparently that one came straight from her ass because I can't even begin to explain that one other than possibly saying: Um..IG-NO-RANT Redneck).

Then, after further details from Bryan later it came to my attention that we were most likely a means to an end and a convenient excuse to save her from looking like a shitty mother (You failed asshole). Apparently she'd done nothing Friday night and had been to lazy or intelligent to do anything Saturday morning as was planned. In fact, she was out picking up his birthday cake when bryan arrived there that afternoon. Nothing like waiting until the last minute and then using others to mask your incompetence.

There's a hell of a lot more to it, but I won't go into it. Suffice it to say she is a total wastoid cunt. That's right, I said it. Wastoid. She's a sad woman with mental issues who's mood and intelligence flounders like a fish on the beach. She has no business having kids and is too irresponsible to act as she should. She shits on her mother and did the same to her father when he was here.

So all that and apparently she never did anything for his birthday. Austin sat at Bryan's house all night for his birthday so Bitterella could "win".

Well Ingrid, you won the battle. But when your kids leave your sorry ass at the stroke of 18 and your family and friends drop you like the damaged goods you are rather than be repeatedly burned, you'll realize what a fuck up you are. Enjoy! I know I will.

Side note: As for anyone else in our lives that can't get over whatever problems you have with John and I, let me put it to you simply:

We do not need you. We do not need your ignorance. We do not need your conditional love. We do not need your presence. We will have a wonderful life with you or without you. It's your job to move past your own ridiculous issues, not ours to crusade for your evolution.

There it is.

You might wonder how things would work differently were this involving someone else:







Maya would have just used her molecular transformation to become some respected doctor, had Ingrid committed and the kids turned over to Lilia so they could have a good life. Problem solved. Because Maya rolls like that.

Reviews on the Fly

Music at the moment: Shakira - La Tortura

Received my ordered copy of John Waters' A Dirty Shame. Funny, irreverent and crass. This harkens back to classic Waters. I didn't even mind Johnny Knoxville being in it. DO NOT watch "The Neuter Version". It's abysmal.

Phred Phun Phactor: 7 out of 10

******
Fantastic Four

Le sigh. Okay so it's better than all the previous incarnations of this film. This concept's screen history is long and troubled and I fear this is as close as we'll ever get to a correct realization.

Reed? Okay. I was happier with his portrayal than expected. He's still too young in my mind's eye but I keep telling myself that Reed was young at one point in time anyhow so I deal. Powers? So-so done. I felt the CG was a little low in spots and they made far less use of him than they could have. Elasti-Girl in the Incredibles kicked more ass than him.

Ben? Chiklis did a really good job. After all, this was typecasting. I liked Thing a hell of a lot more than I thought I would and despite the overall rubber factor, his look wasn't that bad.

Johnny? Wow. Okay so I've been hot for Chris Evans since Not Another Teen Movie. It's the chest, it's like my Kryptonite. But did he ever peg Johnny Storm. I thoroughly enjoyed the hell out of his performance. I still dislike the fact that he isn't blond (yet they even make a reference to him being blond in the movie..um...ok.), but he did a great job. His effects were splendid and I felt I was really seeing The Human Torch.

Victor? Feh. What was SO incredibly hard about inserting Doom with the right history? I mean come on! The staple of FF nemeses cheapened to hell and back by giving him electrical powers, fleeting references to Latveria and turning him to metal. Vomit with a capital Spew. I guess next it will be the Iron Man Movie where we find that the alien T'ony S'tark from the planet of Ironia has come to earth to protect its people using his racial powers to change to an energized metal. STOP FUCKING UP ORIGINS. There is no call for it.

Alicia? Um. Er. You people need to read a little closer next time. She's BLind. Not BLack.

So did I forget anyone? Nope. Absolutely no one at all. Thus ends my review of Fantastic Four.

Phred Phun Phactor: 3 out of 10

Oh...Sue? Wait...was Invisible T&A in the movie? If so, I totally missed her poorly-cast, usless, terribly-portrayed ass. Geneticist..yeah, like I believed that.

******

Going to go see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory today. We'll see. I don't know about Johnny Depp.

Music at the moment: Blondfire - L-L-Love (Acoustic)

I haven't been in the mood to blog since evacuation. So sue me.

We made it through okay. More damage to the siding, fence and roof, though no leaks or serious roof damage yet (knock on wood). The adjuster said since we have 75% damage to the siding he might be able to replace it all. Yay. We shouldn't have to pull fucking teeth to get this shit fixed. I'm sick of the legalized extortion that is Insurance.

John and I have decided that, beyond impassable obstacles, we will not remain living in the Flaccid Penis of the USA for another year. Between the machine gun hurricanes and the utter deterioration of any sort of kindness in the southern community we're sick to death of this place. I have no love left for this place other than the sentimental attachment to it being my home for so long and my remaining family. To those I love: get out now while you still can. To those that I don't: Move to Florida! It's great! By this time next year we should be northerners. Hallelujah I say.

Music switch: Citizen Cope - Son's Gonna Rise

I was further saddened Wednesday by the passing of the third to leave in a magical team that shaped my younger years. James Doohan best known as Star Trek's Montgomery 'Scotty' Scott was lost to us and it sucks. Thanks Jimmy for your contributions to the sci-fi genre and pop culture. I'll not add to the barrage of vomitous and uncreative Scotty beamed up references I've endured already this week. Suffice it to say you'll be missed buddy.
















James Doohan
March 3, 1920 - July 20, 2005

Once again into the fray

Well, just a wee quick update to let everyone know that we're off again to Tennessee to escape our first major hurricane of the very early season. I'll shout out once i'm home again with power.

Choose Life...

in a cute little jar!

I came across these and decided a pet might be nice on the blog. Hell, maybe even a few! I'll name them later. If anyone can think of a nice name let me know! Everyone should have a name.


I adopted a cute lil' death fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!


I adopted a cute lil' ninja fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!






I adopted a cute lil' mummy fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!


I adopted a cute lil' batman fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!





Speaking of Batman. Now that John's home we finally went to see my men in Batman Begins. Mmmmmmm. It was truly a religious experience. I'll blog about it this week.

Veni, Vidi, Vici Quisquiliarum

HOW YA LIKE ME NOW BEEOTCH!!

Garbage disposal removed and new one installed dammit! All I had to do was beat the holy hell out of the old one. And the best part, the new one actually works!

I R T3H PWNXX0R

@!*$# -or- Plumbing Woes beget Phred Throes

So Saturday I discovered water in the cabinets under the kitchen sink. Investigation soon turned up a connection (referred to henceforth as the rubber tube thingy with the c clamp on it)which was loose or simply shot. Closer examination revealed that the metal valve (referred to henceforth as the little metal sticky-out pipe thing) was severely corroded and half had broken off. There was now very little of the little metal sticky-out pipe thing for the rubber tube thingy with the c clamp on it to hold onto. Dilemma.

This small equation will explain the problem:

PhredJohn - Apartment + House = Do It Yourself

Okay, fine. More equations:

PhredJohnHouse + Home Warranty = Trade Call - Do It Yourself

Problem. The Home Warranty bitches aren't open on the weekend.

PhredJohnHouseHomeWarranty - Weekends = Do It Yourself for Immediate Gratification or Wait for a few days.

I chose Immediate Gratification. A Call to the father type and a trip to Sears netted us a new garbage disposal unit ready for installation.

The problem is not putting it on. The problem is getting the old one off.

Let us move past all the punny Phred can't get it off witticisms and get back to the blog entry shall we?

Here are some words I've become intimately aware of over the weekend:

Heave, pull, wrench, jerk, pry, wedge, strain, chisel and mallet.

Phred Phun Phact: Wrenchettes are groovy

So here is the problem...



You see, The Devil won't come apart. It's like crazy fossilized and wouldn't budge. What's more, now as I try to turn it clockwise to unscrew it the sink flange turns as well when it needs to remain still or go in the opposite direction. This, of course, causes:



So the new dilemma consists of a couple options.

1) Take the kit back to Sears then call the Home Warranty people and wait to have half a sink and a dishwsher that works again.

2) Continue to try and get that little monster out from beneath the sink and put the new one in myself to feel a sense of accomplishment.

I have yet to decide what to do. If I had another pair of hands I might have more luck. Maybe if I lodge Kittums in the sink flange it won't turn anymore and I'll have the resistance I need.

Things that make you go Hmmmm.

Situations like this make me wonder...



Maya would most likely tell me that the garbage disposal is primitive and set to designing some new laser disintegration device that would destroy any garbage we placed in the sink. I would most likely then suggest that a Meson Converter would be a better idea since it would allow us to change the garbage into more useful matter rather than destroying it and allow us to recycle 100% of all our waste products. Maya would then change into a large orange space creature with a tail, bulbous faceted eyes and a black mane and slap me silly. Changing back she would explain that only Dorcons use Meson Converters and that my statement was a terribly insensitive and ignorant thing to suggest. Maya would be right.

Maya rocks.

Added a new site under Groovy Links today. Ron showed it to me. Thanks Ron! He got it from Cookie. Thanks Cookie! Postsecret